


Q Comes Home

by francisbell557



Category: James Bond - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - BDSM, BDSM, Cages, Collars, Dom Alec, Dom James Bond, Gags, Hand Feeding, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Q (James Bond), James Bond Takes Care of Q, Leashes, M/M, Master/Pet, Multi, Protective Alec Trevelyan, Sub Q (James Bond)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26179570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/francisbell557/pseuds/francisbell557
Summary: Q is a submissive Pet who has been stuck in the State Care system for far too long. By the time dominants James and Alec come around to adopt him, he's convinced that he wants absolutely nothing to do with exploring his submissive nature - especially not at the hands of two owners whom he's never met. However, James and Alec are determined to make him see that, from punishment to pleasure, being a Pet can be a truly freeing experience.
Relationships: James Bond/Q, James Bond/Q/Alec Trevelyan, Q/Alec Trevelyan
Comments: 44
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Obviously, from my bookmarks, I've been a lurker here on AO3 for a while. But in a desperate attempt to procrastinate writing my dissertation, I've decided to spend all my time writing what is essentially 00Q/Alec Trevelyan porn. 
> 
> This is the first time I've shown anyone my writing since I was in elementary school, so please be kind in your critiques! 
> 
> Un-beta-ed, so I have only myself to blame for mistakes. 
> 
> Also, this is set in an alternate universe where people are born with dominant/submissive personalities that manifest as proclivities for different kink subculture practices (i.e. some people, like Q, are Pets, some are domestic submissives, some are sadistic dominants, etc.). In reality, this contains a lot of non-consenual practice. None of this story is meant to be a how-to guide for safe or healthy kink dynamics. It's meant to be hurt/comfort/non-con fantasy, with an emphasis on FANTASY. 
> 
> I'll keep adding tags as I write more chapters!

“Are you excited, Pet, to meet your new owners?”

The cheerful attendant, Catherine, bustled around the chair in which Q had been forcibly situated, wrists and ankles cuffed and neck encased in a stiff posture collar. He growled around the bit gag that had been forced between his teeth, although it sounded weak even to himself.

There were many things he felt about the owners he had yet to meet, but excited was not one of them. Instead, he had found himself bouncing sharply between fear, anger and antipathy over the last few days as he waited in the Kennels for his adoption day. It had been such a spiral of emotion that he could no longer tell one from another.

Catherine petted his hair knowingly. “It’s scary, I know. I remember my first owners as well. I was terrified out of my mind and ready to lash out at the first chance. But when it came down to it, I was all bark and no bite. It’s astonishing what a bit of kindness can do, especially from someone intent on giving you what you need. I know it’s hard for you to see right now, but being a Pet is nothing to be ashamed of.” She scratched her fingers soothingly against his scalp. “And I have it on good authority that these two are quite the pair. They’ll do right by you.”

Q felt tears welling up in his eyes, also against his will. Ever since he had been orphaned at 15 he’d been taken up by the state care system - a difficult life for anyone, but especially for a submissive Pet like Q. He’d been too old to hope for a traditional family adoption, and with no money to enter into a private academy for submissives, Q’s training and management had been dealt with in a piecemeal and neglectful manner.

As he'd grown to tolerate life in state care, he'd also grown to _hate_ being a Pet. He knew hypothetically that Pets were meant to be a happy bunch, and that life at the hands of a loving and experienced dominant was supposed to be incredibly fulfilling and free. But without his family to care for him until he came of age, he had grown bitter and distrustful from neglect. Worse still, by the time he’d turned 17 he’d been labelled a deviant sub and shunted off to a clinic where there weren't enough resources for Pets to be cared for by dominants. Instead, he'd had to play the role of being his own caretaker, in a way. Caring for himself wasn't something from which he took particular pleasure, but he'd adapted to the grim task so as to survive. In fact, he’d drifted so far against his nature that a year or so in he'd stopped deriving comfort from his collar, one of the most fundamental tools used to help Pets feel cherished and secure. For nearly three years he languished in the clinic with his name on a waiting list for Pets that needed rehabilitation from specialized dominants. Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that a day would come when he would leave the clinic. And now that that day was here, he was realizing that it was less his wildest dream and more an unrealized nightmare. 

Catherine took her hands from his scalp and moved to the table where his leash and mitts were waiting. Neither leash nor mitts were required in the clinic, since Pets were dependent on themselves for so much of their own care. Now, realizing that he was about to really lose control of his hands for the first time, he whimpered and began to struggle against his restraints in earnest. Catherine gave him a sad smile as she brought the first one over.

“I promise, love. One month with these two and you’re going to feel so much better than you ever thought possible.”

He kept his eyes on her face desperately as she fastened a mitt onto his right hand, shushing him and whispering words of comfort the whole time. She fastened the second mitt, knelt down, and looked straight into his eyes. “Alright, darling. It’s time.”

* * *

James was nervous, thought Alec as they sat together in the waiting room of the clinic. He was hiding it well, but every few minutes his pinky finger would twitch as he fought the urge to drum his fingers. But Alec didn’t blame him. He was nervous too, and was trying just as hard to hide it.

After years of training, first as dominants and then as dominants certified to work with Pets in need of rehabilitation and special care, they were finally ready for their first adoption. The paperwork alone had taken months, and then it had taken nearly a year for a good match to come up on the Pet registry. But it was finally happening. In a few minutes, they’d be taken back to meet their very own Pet - a Pet that would be coming home with them for good.

James’ pinky finger twitched, and this time Alec settled his own hand over James’. They met each others’ glances with soft smiles, and James flipped his hand up to twine their fingers together. 

James and Alec had met almost ten years prior in the Navy, fresh off their 18th birthdays and ready to make names for themselves as Doms within the special ops and intelligence programs. With their similar natures and personalities they had become nearly inseparable. Friendship turned to affection, which turned to a budding romance.

By the time Alec’s sister, a Domestic submissive, got sick three years into their relationship there had been no question that James would follow Alec home to help care for her. Together, they left their Naval careers behind and took over caring for Sara. For a while, they’d truly thought she would make it. Her life as a Domestic looked radically different with her illness, but James and Alec had worked hard to learn everything they could about non-traditional submissive care and she had lived her last years to the fullest. In the end, though, she’d succumbed to the illness in her sleep after what had been an uneventful day.

There was nothing they could have done, the doctor assured them. But her death had rocked them both to their cores. Amidst the haze of grief, James had been the one to suggest they train formally as rehabilitative Dominants rather than going back to the Navy. They could make a difference, he insisted. They needed a distraction. They could find solace in making sure that no one went through what Alec’s sister had alone. Together, they had picked up the pieces of their lives and moved forwards.

“Can you believe it?” James asked quietly. 

“You know, I can,” Alec replied, leaning over to give him a quick kiss at the temple. 

“Sara would be so proud of you,” James said, squeezing Alec’s hand as it went tense. Alec gave a quick sniff, and blinked to clear his watering eyes. 

The door to the back of the clinic opened, and a friendly looking attendant stepped out. 

“James and Alec?” she called. They stood as she approached. “I’m Catherine, one of the attendants. I’m here to take you to meet Q.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and James meet Q. It goes as well as can be hoped?

Alec was shocked, James thought as they stood in front of Q. He was hiding it well, but he could feel the tension radiating through Alec’s frame as they stared into the hostile eyes of their new pet. Of course, they had worked with pets like Q before, and they had some idea of the conditions in which he had been living the last few years. But still, seeing their own pet crouched in his carrier with bared teeth felt different. 

“He hasn’t truly been in a submissive state in years,” Catherine had warned them as they walked back to the kennels where Q was waiting. “So this is already a very disconcerting experience for him. Don’t be surprised if he’s agitated. Remember, he’ll be frightened and most likely fighting his headspace. The best way to calm him down will be if you can show him that _you’re_ calm.” 

She’d stopped at the final door but stood blocking the way. “I’m not supposed to say anything, I know, but I won’t feel right if I don’t.” James and Alec had exchanged a glance and twined their hands together. 

“Of course,” said James. “We’re grateful for whatever advice you can give.” 

Catherine bit her lip. “I’ve watched Q grow up these last few years, and he deserves more than he’s gotten from us. He’s bright and sweet, but, well. Kindness and care can be hard to take sometimes, when you haven’t had much experience with either.” 

James had opened his mouth to respond, but Alec beat him to it. “It can,” he said gravely. “You wouldn’t believe the state I was in when James met me. I was...angry, to say the least. My father was an unkind man, and I had stopped being open to kindness because of it.” 

James squeezed Alec’s hand, surprised that Alec was volunteering information about his childhood. 

“But,” Alec said, looking over fondly at his partner. “If James is anything, he’s persistent. Especially in his kindness.” 

Catherine hadn’t quite smiled, but she had nodded and stepped up to the door to unlock it with her key card. “Well, go on then,” she’d said, stepping back again. “He’s waiting for you.” 

* * *

Q was tall - too tall for the standard size carrier cage he’d been put in, James thought critically.

Not only was he too tall for his cage, but he was far too lean to be healthy and he looked utterly terrified despite the restraints on his hands and neck that should have instinctually made him feel safe and calm.

Alec’s grip on James’ hand tightened as Q pressed himself against the back of the cage in an attempt to get as far from them as possible. 

_Poor thing_ , James thought.

Alec, most likely thinking the same, knelt down so as to be at eye level with Q. He kept his hands where Q could see them, resting them lightly on the cage door.

“Hey, Q. Easy,” he said as Q let out a low growl behind his gag. 

Alec took his hands off the cage and Q let the growl die in his throat, though his eyes remained wary. “It’s ok, Q. I know you’re scared, and everything’s probably feeling a bit fuzzy right now. But it’s all going to be just fine,” he said as calmly as he could. 

James rested his hand supportively on the small of Alec’s back, but didn’t move to crouch down beside him yet. While it was important that they both established their roles as dominants and owners right away, it was equally important that Q be given time to process the situation. One dom could be a lot to get used to for a neglected sub. Two would be downright overwhelming.

“Good boy, that’s so good, Q,” Alec soothed as Q eased out of his defensive posture. “I’m Alec. And behind me is James. We’re going to be taking you home today.” 

Q’s posture startled back into defensiveness at the mention of another person. He trained his wary gaze over Alec’s shoulder at James and whined in distress. 

“Yes, that’s James,” Alec repeated. “He’s not going to hurt you.” Alec let him stare a moment longer and then snapped his fingers to regain Q’s attention. “Hey, eyes on me, Q, when I’m talking to you. Yes, that’s good,” Alec praised as Q wrenched his gaze frantically back to Alec’s face. 

“So good, Q. You’ll have time to look at James all you like in the car on the way home. He’s going to sit in the back with you so you don’t have to ride in the carrier, how does that sound?” Alec continued in the same firm and reassuring voice. 

So, James thought, Alec had noted the small size of the cage as well. He felt a wash of comfort at how in-sync he and Alec were and it banished some of his lingering nerves. They were a team, and they were a good team at that. Between the both of them, they would make sure that Q was never neglected or left wanting again. 

He realized that Alec was still talking to Q quietly while unlatching the lock on the cage door.

“We’re excited to get to know you, Q. We’re so glad to be your owners. I can already tell, you’re such a good pet.” 

But even with Alec speaking slowly and steadily, and James standing back and out of the way, the rattling of the lock on the cage seemed to be the last straw for Q. He began to cry and whimper in earnest, torn between trying to back farther into the cage and trying to bat away Alec’s hands. Once the door was unlatched, he made up his mind and threw himself at the opening fervently, nearly bowling Alec over. 

“Ok, ok, I know,” Alec said, trying to right himself and get a good grip on Q’s collar at the same time. “Hush, pet, it’s ok. James, could you…”

James was already moving, grabbing a restraint blanket from one of the nearby tables and holding it open and ready to receive the struggling Q. Once Q was wrapped up it would have the effect of a swaddling, hopefully calming him in a way that the collar and mitts obviously were not. At the very least, he’d be unable to injure himself as they moved him out to the car. 

“There, pet, I know, cry all you like. It’s ok,” Alec chanted as he helped bundle Q into a sitting position. Between the two of them, Alec and James got Q’s arms wrapped around his torso and wrapped in the blanket.

“Good boy, Q,” Alec repeated, stroking a hand through their pet’s hair as James tightened down the blanket’s straps. “Let’s go home.” 

* * *

  
Sitting on the floor completely immobilized, Q felt the fight drain right out of him.

 _Something is wrong with me,_ he thought fuzzily. He could hear voices and see shoes walking around him, but he couldn’t get his mind to focus on anything but the sensation of being wrapped in soft, tight fleece.

Strong arms lifted him effortlessly, and then they were moving through the halls of the clinic that he’d been living in for so long. He had been so scared when they led him into the carrier cage. He was _still_ scared, though the feeling was getting harder to hold on to.

The restraints, the cage, the strangers looming before him and speaking words that he could barely focus on long enough to understand...it had all been terrifying. And yet, none of it was as terrifying as the feeling of his own mind slipping away from him. The longer he was restrained, the more the fog crept in.

He couldn’t _think_ with the fog, couldn’t figure out what he needed to do or what would happen next. He’d fought it for as long as he could, but terror and adrenaline had left him exhausted, and he knew he couldn’t hold out much longer.

He let out one more whimper, just to himself, and gave in as his owners carried him out the clinic doors and towards his new life.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q goes home!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is more setup, but the next one is on track to finally get into some really fun dom/sub practices I think. Thanks for your patience if you, like me originally, were thinking this was going to jump straight into explicit stuff. Apparently it is beyond me to forgo backstory.
> 
> And thanks so much to everyone who's reading and commenting/giving kudos. It's so fun to write for an audience, and it's great to hear that people are enjoying so far! 
> 
> If there's a specific kink or practice you're interested in, leave a comment. I'm happy to try to write it in :)

Q was fast asleep by the time James set him down in the back seat of their car, worn right out by the day’s ordeals. Still, James sat in the back of the car the whole ride home, stroking a hand gently through Q’s hair. 

Occasionally he would glance up into the rearview mirror and find Alec staring back at the two of them. He wondered what Alec was thinking. 

They drove in silence so Q could rest, though James could see that Alec wanted badly to talk through everything that had just happened. Though Alec had made sure that his sister would never have to go into institutional care after her illness, it was hard not to imagine the what-ifs when looking at Q. 

But even so, they both knew the situation with Q was starkly different. 

Sara, at least, had been able to train and develop as a submissive for many years before she got sick. Through her training, she had come into herself fully, figuring out what she wanted and needed from a dom to give her peace and balance in her day to day life. 

The challenge with Sara had been figuring out how to give her variations of her old routines and preferences that were compatible with her body’s limits as she grew ill. 

With Q, though, they were essentially starting from scratch. 

As far as either James or Alec knew, Q had never had any real guidance in figuring out what submission meant to him. They knew he was a Pet, that much was clear. But in terms of what he needed, and what he craved, they were in the dark. 

Judging by his aversion to restraint and touch, James suspected Q would need help and space to figure that out as well. 

For a moment, he felt the weight of responsibility settle on him as an almost physical pressure. But then, looking to Alec once more, the pressure morphed into a feeling of gratitude and purpose. 

In the same way that not all submissives had the same wants and needs, not all dominants exercised their natures in the same way. Though both Alec and James had their own preferences and demeanors when working with subs, they both experienced an innate desire to place the needs of a sub above all else. 

James had known more than a few doms whose interests were oriented towards sadism alone, and a handful that were looking specifically for Pets or for Littles. But for him, the sense of safety and contentment of a dominant headspace came less from a specific act and more from the intention. 

He thrilled in the power of having his subs reveal their most vulnerable desires to him, and he relished being given the control to make those desires a reality. 

One day, he hoped, Q would trust him enough to show him that vulnerability.

* * *

Q still hadn’t woken up by the time they reached the modest house that Alec and James had bought after Sara’s passing. 

There had been a brief period where they considered staying on at Alec’s family home, but when they were honest with themselves they knew they needed a fresh start and a place to make their own. 

As Alec jogged up the front steps to unlock the door, James bundled Q back into his arms. Q stirred slightly, minutely opening one unfocused eye, but fell back into his doze as James shushed and petted him. 

Once through the front door, James hesitated. He and Alec had prepared a room for Q that had all the amenities Pets usually liked: a large, comfortable crate for sleeping, blankets and toys, a bright open window looking out into the back garden. But after seeing Q’s reaction to being housed in the carrier at the clinic, he was reluctant to have Q wake up in yet another unfamiliar cage. 

Better to have him wake up with as much familiarity as possible, he thought, making up his mind and heading for his and Alec’s bedroom. Alec, seeing where James was headed, rolled his eyes fondly but followed without protest. 

James knew he’d be hearing about this later. They’d discussed potential sleeping arrangements ahead of time as they prepared their home for the arrival of Q. Alec hadn’t felt strongly about it, but James had been adamant about no Pets in the bed. 

Alec slipped ahead of James to open the door to their room, and then went to turn down the covers. 

Together, they unwrapped the restraint blanket from around Q and eased the bit gag out from between his teeth. Alec went to the bathroom to get a soft rag to clean the tears and spit from Q’s face while James tucked the blankets up around Q’s shoulders. 

For a moment, the two of them stood side by side next to the bed, silently taking in the sight of their pet, safe in their home. 

* * *

Q awoke slowly, feeling like his body weighed a metric ton. Even blinking his eyes seemed impossible for the first few moments, and he took that time to try to figure out what else he was feeling. 

_No more fleece_ , he thought fuzzily. He licked his dry lips. _No more gag._ He tried to flex his hands, but found them still encased in their mitts.

With tremendous effort, he managed to crack one eye open. He was clearly in a bedroom somewhere, but he didn’t see or hear any sign of his owners. _Maybe they’re gone,_ he thought irrationally. _Maybe I’ll never see them again._

He couldn’t decide if what he was feeling was longing or fear. 

As he tried his best to wake himself up, he realized that his face was wet again with tears. A small whimper escaped his mouth. Being alone had rarely bothered him at the clinic, but he had also never really felt like this helpless or confused at the clinic either. 

Now, barely able to move and in a completely unknown situation, he started to cry in earnest. 

* * *

“Do you hear something?” said James, interrupting Alec mid-sentence. “I think Q’s waking up.”

Alec’s eyes widened and he stood up a little too fast from the breakfast table. His chair wobbled a bit and nearly fell over. 

“It’s going to be ok,” James said, using the same calming voice he had with Q. He stood as well. “I’ll make some tea while you go and check on him. It’ll be better if you go in first since he’ll probably remember you from the clinic.” 

“Right,” breathed Alec, grabbing James’ face and pressing a hasty kiss to his face. “Alright.” 

James watched him walk down the hall and visibly collect himself before opening the bedroom door. Feeling his own nerves now that there was no one else to focus on, James turned to the stove and set the kettle boiling. 

While Q had been sleeping, he and Alec had been preparing a game plan of sorts. There were any number of schools of thought when it came to training subs, but it would take some trial and error to figure out which was right for Q. These first few weeks would be a tricky balancing act between giving Q the structure and guidance he needed while still hearing and respecting his wishes.

Talking in hushed voices at the kitchen table, they decided that they’d start simple: fall back on basic dom/sub protocols to help get Q into a headspace where he could listen to his mind and body. From there, hopefully, Q would eventually be able to articulate his needs to them so they could start to build a real dynamic. 

The key, they’d decided, was not to overwhelm him with choices upfront. 

If they wanted to help Q overcome his resistance to subspace, they needed to show him that letting go was safe and that he could trust them to be reliable and competent decision-makers _for_ him. There was room to be flexible; after all, they wanted to hear and accommodate Q’s preferences. But their job in the early weeks was to accommodate while still maintaining control. 

In theory, they both knew what to do. Their training had been long and involved, and their hearts were fully committed to Q. 

But, hearing a loud crash and raised voices from the bedroom just as the kettle began to scream, James figured a lot of that theory and training was about to fly right out the window. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q wakes up.

Alec let himself into the room and sat on the edge of the bed closest to Q. 

Q had all but buried himself in the pillows and blankets with only the crown of his head poking out. 

“Hello, pet,” he said quietly, reaching out to stroke Q’s hair. Q flinched lower into his makeshift nest, but this time Alec didn’t take his hand back. 

“It’s ok, Q. I’m not going to hurt you. Do you feel better after your nap?” 

Q didn’t respond. 

“Q?” Alec tried again. He took the edge of the duvet and pulled it gently back from Q’s face. “There you are, pup. I was worried the bed had swallowed you - “ he began teasingly, only to be interrupted by Q twisting frantically out from his hiding spot. Before Alec could respond or withdraw Q struck out and bit down hard on the hand that had removed the blanket.

“Shit!” Alec shouted, trying to retrieve his hand from Q’s teeth. He jerked back, knocking into the lamp on the bedside table and sending it crashing to the floor. 

At the noise, Q let go of the hand and stared at Alec with wide, shocked eyes. His face was covered in tears and swollen from crying, Alec noted distantly. For a moment, all they did was blink at one another. 

“Ok, hey -” Alec tried again, but Q was already moving, this time nearly falling out of the bed in search of an escape. Stumbling across the room, he located the door to the hallway only to realize that with his hands restrained he couldn’t grasp the doorknob. He scrabbled at it desperately for another moment before abandoning it as a hopeless task and instead dove for the underside of the bed. 

Alec took a deep breath and tried to regain control of the situation. He quickly checked his hand - no blood. His reaction had been mostly from surprise rather than pain, and the now shattered lamp had been an unfortunate bystander to the whole debacle. 

He heard the whistle of the kettle from the kitchen turn off and hurried footsteps in the hallway as James came to investigate. 

* * *

Huddled in the dark, enclosed space beneath the bed, Q tore at his mitts with his teeth. He had bitten one of his new owners, he thought with horror. What was wrong with him? It had been years since he’d bitten anyone - accidentally or on purpose. Not since he had been in his second foster home, and then only in self-defense. 

Of course, no one had believed him about that. In the end, that had been the final straw that got him sent to the clinic for deviant subs. What were they going to do to him this time? Send him back? Or something worse? No, it didn’t bear thinking about.

Distantly, he heard another pair of footsteps enter the room and quiet discussion somewhere above him. And then - silence. 

He stopped struggling for a moment and cocked his head, trying to figure out what was going on in the room. Part of him was still trying to figure out just how he had gone from laying in the bed to hiding beneath it. It was as if the moment Alec tried to remove him from his hiding spot beneath the blankets his body had simply taken over within any input from his mind. And then, peeking down beneath the bed, he saw the face of one of his owners. 

_James,_ he remembered. The one he hadn’t bitten. The one who had stood silently behind Alec like a bodyguard at the clinic. The one who had restrained him when he couldn’t control himself. 

He cowered farther back. 

“It’s ok, Q,” James said firmly. “You’re not in any trouble at all. We’re not mad, and Alec’s not hurt. Do you think you can come out from there? We just want to make sure you’re not hurt, as well.” 

Q swallowed hard, trying to decide what to do. He swallowed again to clear his throat. “I can’t,” he said croakily. 

And the worst thing was, he truly couldn’t. 

Of course, he was scared and _wanted_ to stay hiding under the bed. But just as his body had taken over from his mind before, it was stubbornly resisting any attempt to comply with James’ request now. If his head were just a little more _clear_ , maybe he could take back control of himself. But even that thought felt fuzzy and absentminded, as if there were layers of cotton muffling his brain. 

As if to further drive home the point, he realized that he had zoned out and was again gnawing at the mitts. He wrenched his mouth away and tried to focus on what James was saying.

“ - and that’s perfectly normal. Just take your time. We’re going to wait for you right out here until you’re ready.”

James backed away from the foot of the bed and settled, sitting cross-legged, against the wall. A few minutes later, Alec joined him, and the two spoke quietly of inane things - what movies to watch that weekend, whether the new detergent smelled too strongly of lavender. Q let their calmness wash over him in degrees.

Eventually, they moved on to talking about what to have for dinner and Q realized that he was _ravenous_. 

Still without his conscious input, he found himself inching forwards until his head was just at the edge of the underside of the bed. 

Peeking his head out into the room, he gave a series of startled blinks at the change in brightness. When his eyes adjusted, he realized that James and Alec were both smiling at him gently. 

“Well, hello there pet,” said Alec. “I see I was wrong when I called you pup, earlier. You’re clearly much more of a kitten, hm?”

Q didn’t answer, feeling uncomfortable with the fond manner in which Alec was speaking of that identity. If he weren’t a pet, he wouldn’t be out of control like this. He wouldn’t be here in this house, under this bed. He wouldn’t have _bitten_ someone, like a feral animal. 

“Are you hungry, kitten?” Alec asked, holding his non-bitten hand out to Q. Looking at the hand, there was something - in the deep recesses of his mind - that _ached._ He couldn’t say for what, but the ache was drawing him closer and closer to his owners.

He edged the rest of the way out of the bed and crouched in front of his owners, needing something but having no words to ask. 

“Are you just gorgeous, hm, pet?” James said in the same fond tone Alec had used. “I know you’ve had a hard day, would you like to come over here so we can scratch your head?”

Q’s limbs unfurled and he practically threw himself into James’ lap before he even realized what he was doing. He gave a disconcerted whine, but before he could retreat both James and Alec had their hands in his hair and were stroking in the most delicious way. 

Had anything ever felt so good in his entire life?

Q felt tension release from his body in a rush and was helpless to do anything but lay limply in the aftermath. But he didn’t feel helpless in the way he had at the clinic or after he bit Alec. Instead of losing control and feeling confusion and terror, this was like sinking into a warm, comforting bath. 

He looked up lethargically from his sprawl to see James giving him a small, pleased smile and he felt suffused with warmth. 

“So good, little kitten. You’re so good.”

Q preened a bit and James’ smile widened.

“Now, Alec is going to check you over to make sure you’re not hurt. Can you tell us if anything is hurting or doesn’t feel right, Q?” James asked. 

Q thought for a minute. Alec, who he had bitten, was going to look him over. Alec would put his hands on him. Would he hurt Q in the same way that Q had hurt him? But no, Q thought. Alec was already touching him, and it didn’t hurt at all. It was all very confusing to try to untangle when all he wanted to do was think about how good the petting felt. 

As if sensing what was happening in Q’s mind, James moved the hand that wasn’t in his hair to the nape of his neck and gave a firm squeeze. 

“Q, Alec isn’t mad about you biting him, and he’s not going to do anything to hurt you intentionally. He just wants to make sure you’re safe. Will you let him do that? It would make him very happy.” 

Q swung his sleepy gaze over to Alec. Finding no outright hostility or malicious intent on his face, Q nodded once and let his relax back down. 

“Thank you, Q,” Alec said reverently. James continued to stroke his hair and scratch at his neck as Alec, one limb at a time, began to check over Q. 

“Everything looks alright here,” Alec said, concluding his search for injury. “How’re you feeling, Q? I must’ve scared you something good, earlier.” He looked down in contrition. 

As quick as he had succumbed to the peace of being held, Q tensed up again with a surge of guilt. If anything, _he_ should be apologizing for biting Alec. Even though his mind was screaming at him not to, he shifted out of James’ lap. James let him go, adding to his feeling of guilt.

Of course he didn’t deserve the comfort of the petting right now, he thought morosely. He deserved to be stuck in a kennel and left all alone. 

“I really didn’t mean to bite you,” Q whispered, forcing the words out with great difficulty. He couldn’t bring himself to meet Alec’s eyes. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.” He buried his face in his knees. And then, because he couldn’t stand not knowing, he whispered, “Are you going to send me back?”

James and Alec exchanged concerned looks, and James reached out to pull Q back towards him. Q, having no will to resist, let him. 

“No, Q. We’re not sending you back. You couldn’t do anything to make us send you back,” James said firmly.

“He’s right, Q. Honestly, you’ll have to try a lot harder than that to hurt me,” Alec said with a grim laugh. 

“But, I don’t want to hurt you,” he whispered again. “Something’s wrong with me.”

James bit his lip and measured his words. 

“I have a theory about that, Q. Would you like to hear it?”

Q looked up at him with the barest expression of hope. All his life he had known _something_ was wrong, but even at the clinic no one seemed to be able to explain it to him. Eventually, he had given up trying to figure it out. But if James knew, well. Maybe Q could be fixed. 

“I think,” Alec interjected, “that this would all go down a bit better with some dinner, yeah? How about we all move off this hard floor and onto the couch and we can eat and talk in a way that’s a bit easier on the back.”

James nodded. “Q?” he said. “How does that sound to you?” 

Q gave a last, longing glance at the safety of the underside of the bed, and nodded. 

“Alright, well that’s settled. I’ll put something together in the kitchen and you two go get settled on the couch,” James said definitively. 

Alec gave him another smug look as he left the room, and James sighed. No Pets on the bed, and no Pets on the couch. When confronted with Q’s comfort and happiness, his rules had never stood a chance.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Q eats some dinner, worries, and worries some more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently I can only have inspiration for my schoolwork or for this at any given time, and these last two weeks have gone to school. 
> 
> If you're still reading, thanks for waiting around! I can honestly say that at this point I have no idea where the story is going anymore. I mean, I kind of had a rough vision for it when I started? But instead of planning and outlining I'm now committed to the practice of writing everything in a fugue state. So as for what comes next...I guess we'll all just have to find out together? 
> 
> As always, love to hear from you all with feedback!

“My theory, Q, is that there isn’t anything wrong with you at all,” James said once they were all settled in the living room with plates of a picnic-style dinner of cheese, fruit, nuts, and crackers. Q was tucked up in an armchair next to the couch, feet tucked up on the seat and chin resting on his knees - as small as possible. Whereas James and Alec had been free with touching him before, they were now giving him space. Though, Q noted with a mixture of wariness and longing, they had left a spot between them on the couch that he would fit into perfectly if he could just muster the courage to move.

Instead, Q chewed his apple slice in silent disappointment and curled up even smaller. Of _course_ there was something wrong with him. His hands, finally free of the mitts he so loathed, were proof positive of that. Good pets didn’t _want_ to use their hands for things like feeding themselves. They didn’t want to sit on armchairs across the room from their doting owners. And they certainly didn’t go around biting people. 

Even if James and Alec refused to see it now, it was only a matter of time before his behavior became too much to excuse. There was a reason he had spent so much of his life in the clinic for deviants, and the reason wasn’t that he was too well-adjusted.

Still, maybe it was best not to complain. After seeing the bite marks scoring the leather and the way Q reflexively shook his hands as if that would rid him of his restraints, James had been quick to take them off. As a result, Q was now fairly sure that James had absolutely no idea what being a Pet owner entailed. Alec was no better, going so far as to give Q his own plate of dinner. 

Q didn’t know what they were playing at, but he supposed if they weren’t even going to try to fix him, the next best thing was to be left to his own devices. He still felt nauseous thinking about the stories he had heard from other Pets at the clinic who had been returned by their owners. To go through the pain and fear of being trained by a dominant, of being forced into the submissive state you couldn’t reach on your own, only to find out it had been hopeless all along? Q didn’t think he’d be able to go on after that. 

“The way I see it, Pets need time and training, just like Owners, to figure out what they want and need. And I don’t think anything’s wrong with you at all, Q. I just don’t think anyone has helped you figure all that out yet. Your instincts and your thoughts - they’re all twisted up in your head.” 

“I’ve had training,” Q couldn’t help but protest. It wasn’t as if _no one_ had tried with him. 

“Yes,” James said with an accepting nod. “But it sounds like your previous trainers were trying to force you to be what they thought a submissive, a good _Pet_ , should be. A good trainer - a _real_ trainer - doesn’t actually force a sub into doing anything. Just because you’re a Pet doesn’t mean you don’t have your own personality. It’s our job to help you figure out who you are, not change you.” 

Q couldn’t stop a suspicious frown from crossing his face. Maybe James _did_ know what he was doing, and this was all an elaborate mind game. Maybe this was a ruse to get him to drop his guard and coax him into a submissive headspace with nice words and platitudes. _Good luck with that,_ he thought grimly. If it were as easy as all that he would probably still be with his first foster family.

Alec smiled softly from where he was relaxed into the couch cushions, listening to the conversation unfold. “I think our pet disagrees with that, hm James? Is that, right, Q?” he interjected

Or maybe...Q’s mind started to race. Maybe they _wanted_ him to disagree, to contradict them so they could punish him. 

The apple turned to ash in his mouth and all he wanted to do was spit it out. He forced himself to swallow instead before answering.

“It’s not my place to agree or disagree with you, sir,” Q tried, looking down in what he hoped was a placating manner. James and Alec were silent for a moment. Q didn’t dare look up.

“Q,” Alec said, shifting forward in his seat. Q flinched. 

“Q, look at me please,” Alec said more firmly. 

Q looked nervously at Alec. 

“I know this all probably feels hard to believe. But we want to help you, and that means we need to know what you’re really thinking. Do you understand?”

“Yes, sir,” Q said, still feeling doubtful about disagreeing. But a new feeling was emerging alongside the doubt. It was a feeling that had gotten him into trouble before. He tried to squash it back. 

“Alright then. Can you tell us why you disagree with James?”

Well, that was easy enough, at least.

“A Pet should be able to submit when commanded by a dominant, sir. It’s in our nature. But, I can’t. So, I go against nature. There’s something wrong with me. And I’m here because you think you can fix it.” 

“I see,” James said, looking thoughtfully into the distance for a minute before meeting Q’s eyes again. “Thank you, Q for sharing that with us. Now, can you listen while I explain a bit more about my theory?”

Q nodded, not trusting his voice.

“Good, pet,” James said with a fond smile. “My theory is that, like you said, submission is natural for Pets, and it’s important for them so they can be happy and healthy. But, I also believe that submission takes time to learn. Not all submissives are the same, pet. And I think you just need some time and space to learn what you like.”

Q bit his lip, the feeling he had been repressing now resurging with force. A boundary had been set, and despite knowing that no good could come for it, he wanted, _needed_ , to test it. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking right now, pet,” James said, breaking Q out of his thoughts.

He chewed his lip a moment more. They wanted him to be honest? Well, he could be honest. And then maybe the illusion of a gentle, happy home would be broken and they could finally get on to what he was here for. 

His heart began to pound. There was no point in prolonging the inevitable, he thought to himself. A deep breath, and then do what had to be done. Another deep breath. Then, as James opened his mouth to speak again, Q interrupted rudely and brusquely. 

“I think you either don’t know how to properly dominate someone, in which case there’s no point in my being here, or you’re trying to trick me into trusting you so I’ll be more compliant. But I know what’s supposed to happen. There’s no point in sugar-coating it, and I honestly wish you’d just get on with it.” 

Alec’s eyebrow’s jumped a mile up his forehead, and even James - stoic, unflappable James - looked a bit taken aback. Q felt the rush adrenaline that had accompanied his words begin to fade and a leaden weight sunk into his stomach. _There’s nothing you can do to take it back_ , he thought dizzily. He closed his eyes. 

A hand landed in his hair and he flinched, only to feel the fingers tighten their grip. 

“Q,” James said, calmly, but in a register that Q hadn’t heard yet. Instead of reclining on the couch, James was now crouched at eye level directly in front of Q. 

The proximity and the tingling of his scale sent a shiver down Q’s spine. 

“Open your eyes.” 

Q’s eyes flew open. Something about James’ tone - he couldn’t resist it if he tried. He blinked twice and met James’ piercing gaze. 

“I’m going to promise you something right now, Q. Neither Alec nor I will ever try to trick you. We will tell you what we want, and what we expect of you, and you will do it.”

Q felt as is if his spine were simultaneously being electrified and melting into liquid. James wasn’t speaking particularly loudly or with any overt aggression. He wasn’t speaking like any dominant that Q had ever encountered. And yet, Q felt completely enthralled. 

“Do you know why you’ll do what we ask of you, Q?” Alec asked, appearing suddenly at James’ side and taking Q’s chin in hand with a firm grip. The pressure of two hands controlling his head was dizzying. 

Q swallowed hard. “No, sir,” he croaked. _This should feel menacing,_ Q thought through the thick fog that was gathering once again in his mind. _Am I scared?_ He didn’t think he was. 

“Not because we’re forcing you, but because you’re going to want to. We don’t need to force you. There’s no thrill in that. The thrill comes when you submit yourself, willingly, to our care. But this isn’t about what Alec and I want. This is about you, and giving you what _you_ want. We’re going to spend the next few weeks figuring out how to make you feel better than you’ve ever felt before.”

Q’s eyes blinked again, but more slowly. He was starting to feel cotton-headed in the way he had when he had been restrained at the clinic. As always, his instinct was to fight against it. He tried to shake his head to clear it, only to feel the hand in his hair tighten its grip once more. He whined quietly and went slack, feeling the fog increase even more. 

“What if I don’t want to do anything a Pet should do,” he asked almost drowsily. “What if I don’t want to crawl, or wear my muzzle, or anything”

“Then you won’t have to. But Q,” James said. “I think you’ll find that you do want to do those things. Once you feel safe and in control, I think you’ll want them.”

“The only rule, Q,” Alec interjected, “is that you be honest with us. Do you understand?” 

“But I can’t be good. I’ve tried, and I just can’t. Like when I bit Alec.”

“I don’t think that’s true, pet. You’re being so good for us right now, isn’t he, Alec?” James asked, releasing his grip on Q’s hair only to shift and grab at a new spot. Q’s head lolled and his lips parted at the wave of endorphins that rushed through his body. 

“But even if you can’t be good the way you think you need to be, that’s ok, Q. What did Alec just say? What’s the only rule?” James prodded. 

Q felt the memory from just moments ago floating through his mind and tried to grab onto it. “I have to be honest,” he slurred. He heard a chuckle and felt a kiss pressed to his forehead. 

“My god, Q, you’re such a treat. What a fantastically good pet you are,” Alec crooned. “All it takes is a few good head scratches and you’re off floating. I think you’re going to be just fine.” 

Q was sure a moment ago he’d had an argument he wanted to make, but it had been such a long day, and he was so tired again. Would they be upset if he fell asleep while they were working so hard to pet him?

“No, Q, we won’t be upset. You just close your eyes and sleep if you want. That’s good, pet.”

He couldn’t tell if he was thinking or speaking, or if he was quite ready to trust the two strangers that were all of a sudden his whole world. But as two sets of strong hands massaged his scalp and neck, he decided that he could wait until morning to figure it all out.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alec and James: An Interlude; Q wakes up just in time for breakfast.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, I'm back after waaaay too long! I just was NOT feeling any inspiration the last few weeks. Chalk it up to pandemic depression, I suppose. But I've got the itch again, which means this new chapter tonight and hopefully another chapter on the near horizon. 
> 
> Thank you to everyone who's still reading! I know I owe some people responses to comments - but even if I haven't gotten around to it yet I love and appreciate every single one. And, as always, I'm excited to hear what you think of the story as it continues.

“Christ,” Alec said with a gusty breath as he slumped down at the kitchen table. James was at the sink filling the kettle. Neither Alec nor James particularly wanted tea, but after the tumultuous day he found himself falling into routine tasks. He felt like if he stopped moving he would collapse. 

“That pup is so nervous he was practically vibrating during dinner,” Alec continued, massaging his temples. 

“I thought you decided he was more of a kitten than a pup,” James reminded him wryly. 

“That pet is a scared rabbit, if he’s anything. And he thinks we’re the foxes that have him cornered.” 

James took out mugs and milk and brought them to the table. He sat next to Alec, close enough so their elbows touched, as they waited for the kettle to boil. 

“For a pet that was billed to us as being unable to reach subspace, he sure does go down easy,” James said after a moment, voicing the thought that had been sitting uneasily with him since picking Q up from the shelter. 

“I was thinking the same thing,” Alec replied darkly. “Reminds me a bit of that one case back from our volunteer days - Sam? The one whose owners had used subspace as a punishment? He was always so turned around about whether he wanted to submit or not, too twisted up between his instincts and the learned fear.” 

The kettle began to whistle and James heaved himself up to take it off the stove.

“You’re not wrong,” James said, returning to pour hot water into the mugs. “No wonder Q’s so on edge, though. Can you imagine the exhaustion of being terrified of something you desperately want? Or wanting something instinctually, but knowing that giving in isn’t safe?” 

Alec just shook his head tiredly, as if too drained by the mere thought to respond. As they sat and drank their tea, James reached out and rested one hand on Alec’s arm for comfort. Alec reached over and took James’ hand, gently raising it to his lips and holding it there. 

Often, James thought of what their life had been before. In the Navy, they had both been on track for high-level careers and the incorporation of domination in their lives was significantly different from now. Back then, domination had been about productivity, about acting in the heat of the moment, and about making a call and sticking to it. There was a heady violence to it all, and for many years James had thought that he needed that violence to be fulfilled. Now, his life and role as a dominant person was about patience, flexibility, and ironically enough, taking cues from others. 

Even through his exhaustion, James felt a surge of pride for Alec as they sat quietly at their table. Where James had been satisfied with their past lives, Alec had been fully enamored. He had thrived in that world, turning his anger into command and earning recognition from their superiors early on. James knew that the job meant different things to them both, but he loved Alec, and felt that work was still one thing that connected them. It was their life, and he had been happy with it.

But when faced with the illness of his sister, Alec had done something not even James had expected: he had dropped everything and _changed_. All his energy that had previously been directed into his job he channelled into becoming what Sara needed. He went to therapy, he meditated, he took up cooking, and, most shockingly, he opened up to James in a way he never had before. Alec’s show of vulnerability was all James needed to know that he had found a remarkable partner, one he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He had shown James a way forward, a way to be better, and James had been helpless to do anything but follow. 

“I think we should talk with Q tomorrow, try to get a feel for some of the specific things that scare him. And I think we should try to tempt him a bit. Give him some easy openings to submit, see if we can’t pique his curiosity.”

James blinked out of his memories at Alec’s suggestions. “That’s a wonderful idea. Should we start with breakfast, and see if he’s interested in a bit of hand feeding?” 

“Mm, yes. I’ll whip up something simple in the morning.” Alec stretched and stood up, catching James’ dubious raised eyebrows. “What?”

“It’s never just _something simple_ with you.” 

Alec pulled James up from his seat and down the hall to the guest room where they’d resigned themselves to spending the night after tucking Q back into their bed. 

“Well, I can’t pass up an opportunity to spoil the ones I love. And Q needs a bit of feeding up, don’t you think. I know you’re thinking it too.”

James just hummed in response, smiling contentedly as he followed Alec to bed.

* * *

Q awoke to the sound of quiet voices and cooking noises coming from the kitchen. The difference between waking this time and waking the day before was shocking. For the first time in what felt like years his mind was clear and his heart wasn’t racing. He felt the soft pillows beneath his head and the softer duvet pulled up beneath his chin and took in the way that he was really, truly _in_ his body at that moment. He stared consideringly up at the ceiling and tried to summon the feelings of panic he had been drowning in since leaving the clinic, but it was too distant. It was as if, where he had previously been unable to convince his body that he was safe, he was now similarly unable to convince it that he was _unsafe_. 

_Just who’s in control here?_ he thought to himself wryly. 

A soft knock at the door startled him out of his reverie. He cleared his throat and tentatively, croakily, called out, “Yes?”.

James eased the door open and leaned against the frame, but didn’t come any closer. 

“Good morning, pet,” he said with a small but warm smile. “Would you like to sleep some more, or would you like to come join us for breakfast? Alec’s cooked up quite a feast this morning.”

Q flexed his unbound hands nervously beneath the comforter. He was hungry, and after the night before he was...curious about his new owners. Curious to the point of perhaps even wanting to spend more time with them. _But, the risk!_ whispered a harsh voice in the back of his mind. _You don’t know the rules!_

But...he did know the rules, he realized. _Tell the truth,_ floated through his brain. The temptation outweighed the fear, and he sat up and cleared his throat again.

“I do want breakfast,” he said hesitatingly. “But,” he faltered. _But I don’t know what to expect. I don’t know how to behave. I’m still so confused._

James waited patiently for him to finish, and then took pity when it became clear that the words were stuck in Q’s throat.

“It’s ok to be nervous, pet,” he said moving forward to perch on the end of the bed. Q automatically scooted back against the headboard and drew his knees up to his chest, making himself smaller. James didn’t falter, or offer any reproof at the movement. Instead, he kept smiling and speaking calmly.

“I promise, you’re not going to do anything wrong. Come sit with us, eat, and we’ll talk. Maybe if you ask us some questions, tell us what you’re nervous about we can sort it together, hm?” James held a hand out, palm up, for Q to take. 

Q stared at it for a full five seconds, and when James patiently remained still, he reached out and took it. Strong fingers closed around his hand, a calloused and confident thumb stroking once, twice, across his knuckles. Q gasped at the sensation, and tensed, waiting to see if the hand would tighten further. But other than the thumb moving firmly across the back of his hand, nothing else happened. 

He met James’ eyes and nodded, following James out of the bed and towards the door. As they walked down the hall, still holding hands, Q caught a glimpse of a standard pet’s playroom through a half-closed door on the right. His heart-rate picked up a bit as he was overcome by competing feelings of terror and...longing. 

He felt a tug on his hand, realizing that he was lingering only when James stopped and turned back. Together, they stared into the playroom. 

“Would you like to go in?” James said casually. “It’s your room, Q. You’re very welcome to explore it a bit.” 

Q shook his head once, very slowly, eyes locked on the cage set against the far wall next to a big bay window. He could imagine being inside it, relaxing and looking out the window. But at the same time, he could imagine the feeling of helplessness, of being trapped, of crying out in fear and loneliness and knowing that no one was coming. Or worse, knowing that he had asked to be put inside, complicit in his own torture. 

James rested a heavy hand on Q’s nape and squeezed, just once, to break the pet out of his spiraling thoughts. “It’s alright, Q. You don’t have to. Thank you for telling me what you want.”

Q whimpered slightly, wanting to enjoy the praise, but feeling conflicted about whether he deserved it. Was he being truthful, really? Because, still, a small part of him _did_ want to go inside.

But then James was tugging on his hand again, leading him gently away, and the moment passed.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast for all!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter for you all on this very rainy day! (Well, it's rainy where I am, at least)
> 
> I'm sorry for the inconsistency with posting - in an ideal world I'd keep a schedule, but once something's done I like to get it out right away! And I'm definitely not a consistent writer, so here we are. 
> 
> But hopefully this won't be too much of a burden if you were looking forward to reading more ;)

The smells coming from the kitchen were, to put it simply, divine.

Q felt his eyes widen involuntarily, previous turmoil forgotten, as James led him by the hand into the warmly lit room. Q hadn’t gotten a look at it the day before, but could see now that the kitchen was easily the biggest, and most lived-in, part of the house. Forest green cabinets, a white marble countertop, and an industrial-size stove took up the far and side wall, with a wood-block island in the center of the room and a small, cozy breakfast nook off to the other side. Worn cooking utensils and dog-eared cookbooks cluttered some of the counters, while others were left pristine and bare. The island was covered in flour, batter drips, and platters of sliced fruit.

“Q!” Alec boomed from the stove, looking over his shoulder with a grin. Q flinched, but only slightly, at the loud noise. James squeezed his hand reassuringly before letting it drop and walking over to tap Alec gently on the shoulder. 

“Sorry, sorry - sometimes I get a bit boisterous in the kitchen,” Alec apologized ruefully, turning back to flip something in the pan in front of him. 

James gave Q a knowing smile, as if Q were familiar with all of their quirks and therefore in on some joke. “By sometimes, he means all the time. Alec loves to cook. Well,” James amended, “he loves to feed people. You’d think we were a family of seven, the way he puts together meals.” 

Q shifted from foot to foot, fidgeting and trying to take in all the new stimuli at once.

It wasn’t as if he weren’t used to having company. The shelter had always been filled to capacity, and there were plenty of pets and caretakers running around. If anything, it had been rare for him to catch a minute alone. And while he certainly hadn’t been starved or fed slop at the clinic, there was just something so _different_ about the situation in which he now found himself. _Family,_ he thought in surprise, belatedly hearing James’ words. _Was this what it was like with my family_? He cut off his train of thought brutally and forced himself back to the present. There was no point in comparing his current situation to a past that he barely remembered. Nothing he had known in his previous life, before being orphaned, was reliable enough to help him know what to expect now. 

As it were, Q was surprised, but also a little relieved that James and Alec were moving about the kitchen on their own. They didn’t seem to be ignoring him, so much as they were just not hovering. 

“Go ahead and sit down in whichever seat you want,” James said as he rummaged in the fridge. “We’ll bring the food over as it’s ready.” 

Now Q felt his nerves creeping back in. He surveyed the room and took in the available seating. Three chairs were placed around the kitchen table, along with one spot that had an enormous, squishy looking pillow. He swallowed hard. James hadn’t said explicitly where to sit, and he found himself paralyzed at the thought of picking. There was a third chair that he could sit in, and James _had_ said to sit wherever he wanted. But the cushion looked so comfortable. He could imagine himself folding into the soft fabric, sitting contentedly at his owners’ feet free to take in his surroundings without being forced to act and interact. But, if he sat at the cushion would he get enough food? What if James and Alec forgot to feed him, or worse, withheld food until he acted the way they wanted him to? Did pets get to eat the same food as their owners, here?

All of a sudden, James was standing directly in front of Q. He raised a hand and Q watched, transfixed, as James brushed his knuckles softly against Q’s cheek. “What’s got you worried, pet?”

Q chewed his lip for a moment, looking off to the side so he couldn’t see James’ expression. “What...what would happen if I sat on the cushion?” he asked tentatively.

James smiled softly. “Well, we can either give you a plate and you can eat it with a fork, but sitting on the floor. Or, Alec and I could take turns feeding you by hand.” 

Q felt a flush rise on his cheeks at the image conjured up, of Alec and James’ strong hands reaching down to slip bite after bite between his teeth. He wanted, oh he _wanted_ that. But, memories of his first foster home poisoned his longing. 

“Will you, I mean,” he searched for words. “Can I still eat what you’re eating?” he asked quietly. 

James hand stopped stroking his cheek and took hold of his chin, forcing Q to meet his eye as he had the night before. 

“Q,” he said gently. “Pet, you can have whatever food as you like, whenever you like. And if you want to get up and sit on the chair at any point, you can, and you’ll still have your food.” 

Q felt relief creep in, but had one more question he needed to ask. “And after we eat? Do I have to…” he trailed off, not knowing how to phrase it. But he suspected that hand-feeding would bring back the brain-fog, the same way Alec and James’ petting had the day before. 

“What’s the one rule, Q?” James asked patiently. 

“Be honest,” Q replied, still a bit hesitant about it. 

“That’s right. So, after we eat, if you’re feeling fuzzy, I promise that if you don’t want to do something, you don’t have to. Have you ever used a safeword, Q?” 

Q shook his head no. He had heard of them, of course, and there were pamphlets and posters at the shelter advocating for their importance and use. But in his previous foster families, the role of a pet had been to obey, and it was up to owners to decide what was best for their pet. In the shelter there was no need as no one had been very concerned with what he did or did not do.

“Ok, that’s ok. Let’s start simple then, hm? Stoplight colors. Green for go, yellow for slow down, and red for stop. Can you remember that?” 

“Green go, yellow slow down, red stop,” Q repeated back, feeling a bit foolish at how safe the words made him feel just saying them. As if such small words really could protect you from angry voices and angrier hands.

“Perfect. So, if you like something we’re doing, and we ask you your color, you’d say green. And if we do something you’re nervous about, or need a minute to consider, you just interrupt us and say “yellow” and we’ll take a little breather to figure out what’s wrong. And, now this is the most important one, Q. If you want something to stop, or need something to change immediately you say red. No matter where we are or what we’re doing, you say red and Alec or I will stop _right away_.”

“Right away?” Q repeated, latching on to the phrase. 

“Right away. I swear.” 

Q stared into James’ eyes for another moment, before replying softly, “Green.” 

The smile that split James’ face as he ushered Q forwards towards the cushion was broad and proud. Alec, also smiling proudly, stepped away from the stove to lay two plates loaded with food at the table. Half of the food on each plate was cut into small, bite-sized pieces, perfect for hand-feeding. Q’s mouth watered, and, overcome by the overall mood in the kitchen he let himself give in. James led him to the cushion, and, after contemplating it for one moment more, Q sank gracefully to his knees. 

If the cushion looked soft, it was nothing compared to how it felt.

Q wouldn’t have even known there was a wooden floor beneath him if he hadn’t seen it with his own eyes. With his hands held loosely on his thighs, he half-listened to the conversation being held at the table. Instead, he found himself free, for the first time, to really observe his owners without concern.

Though he wasn’t actually much smaller than either of them in terms of height, he felt that way kneeling next to them. Both James and Alec had rough hands, but both were equally gentle and fastidious as they reached down to feed him bites from their plates. There was more laughter than he expected, even as they talked about inconsequential things. And as with him, they were shockingly...gentle with one another. Q watched as Alec, distracted by a light kiss James had just blown at him, lowered a particularly sodden bite of strawberry waffle. A bit of juice dripped onto Alec’s thumb and Q instinctively poked his tongue out to catch it. Alec’s hand paused, and then moved around to Q’s nape to give him an appreciative squeeze. 

Q felt the squeeze resonate throughout his entire body, sending a shiver down his spine.

The electric feeling was softened by the slow roll of brain-fog that followed immediately after. Q blinked slowly and tilted his mouth to receive a small bite of sausage from James’ hands as the world around him took on a syrupy quality. The murmur of voices filled his ears as hands caressed his face and neck, touching food to his lips, lingering, tracing his cupid’s bow.

In Q’s mind, the meal lasted a joyful eternity, and by the time the last bit of food was cleaned from James’ plate, Q had quite forgotten that anything existed outside of this small pocket of the world.


End file.
